1kg Salmon fillet
1 1/2 tablespoons mustard seeds
1/2 cup of fresh dill, pulled off the stems
120g caster sugar
80g table salt
Go to your local seafood shop and say 'hello, I'd like a fillet of salmon, skin on, costing approx *this much* money'. The fillet I got was $60 because I just said 'give me a big-ish' peice and then couldn't back out once I knew the price. It fed ten people well and was really delicious though so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Get half a cup of caster sugar and one third of a cup of table salt and mix them together. Fry your mustard seeds until they start to pop, then crush them with a mortar and pestle/give them a go in the food processor (you don't technically need to do this, they're fine whole). Cut up your dill, make sure it's very dry if you washed it first, and mix it with the salt, sugar and mustard seeds.
Lay your salmon, skin-side down on a big piece of cling wrap (at least twice the size of the salmon. Pat your salt, sugar and herb mixture over the top, making sure it's fully covered. Wrap the salmon up in the gladwrap, and chuck it in the fridge weighed down with a couple of plates. Leave it for 2-3 days, turning it over at least twice in that time.
Slice it thinly on a diagonal, and serve with sour cream on little toasts with some cracked pepper, or just drop thin slices into your mouth whole while lying shirtless on the couch watching SVU**